


Signs of Love

by merlinmusesmod



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Kid Fic, M/M, Minor Character Death, Non-Linear Narrative, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-31
Updated: 2013-05-31
Packaged: 2017-12-13 13:47:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/824974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlinmusesmod/pseuds/merlinmusesmod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin knows ASL. Arthur has a deaf child. Merlin is hopelessly in love and Arthur is hopelessly dim.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Signs of Love

**Author's Note:**

> Written by somnolentlyu for Round 3 of the Merlin Prompt Fest.
> 
> Thanks to Izzy, who cheered me through this!! :)  
> All of this is a result of research, not experience, and if anybody has a problem with anything in this fic, it will be changed.  
> Haha this is my first fic (don’t hurt me pls (◑‿◐✿))

_Before_

_Merlin falls in love with Arthur in the winter when they are twelve. They lay in Merlin’s bed, both draped in thick, hand-stitched blankets that Hunith swaddled them in. Arthur is wrapped around Merlin like a warm octopus, arms tight around his stomach and head on his chest. Merlin shakes Arthur’s shoulder to wake him up because, hello, how can anybody breathe in this death grip?_

_But when Arthur stirs, Merlin’s hand stops and his heart beats just a bit faster as Arthur’s sleepy eyes meet his, shockingly blue in the morning sun._

_He doesn't know what the feeling is, but it overwhelms him like a sunray on a cloudy day, filling him with warmth._

_Then the moment passes and he shakes himself off, roughly pushing Arthur off of him and running off to avoid the inevitable shout of “Hey!” and a tackle from the back._

_He forgets about that feeling, as children do, lost in the happiness and sunshine of childhood._

_January_

“Arthur?”

Merlin holds his old flip phone to his ear as he carefully steps up the ice encrusted stairs to his flat.

“Guess what?” Arthur’s voice is tinny through the speakers, the excitement showing through his voice even as he tries hard to conceal it. 

“Mithian’s pregnant?” Merlin smiles widely. 

“Yes- but don’t get too excited; the pregnancy test tested positive, but we’re going to verify it with the doctor today.”

“How can I not get excited? I’m going to be a godfather, finally!” Merlin shouts into the phone.

He can hear Arthur’s grin over their connection as he says, “Well, I’m just saying. We’re still up for our movie marathon on Saturday, right?” 

“Of course. Since when have I missed one of those?”

As Merlin hangs up, he ignores the small splinter of sadness that is wedged into his chest. 

_Before_

_“Merlin! Meet my girlfriend, Mithian!”_

_Merlin looks up from his sloshy oatmeal and sees Arthur with his arms around a tall brunette._

_He swallows his mouthful and says, “Oh. Hi, Mithian. I’m Merlin.” And holds out his hand for her to shake._

_She takes his hand and shakes it, not a quick shake, like Vivian, who snatched her hand back from Merlin’s like he was a dirty unwashed peasant; or a long one, like Elena’s, who held on for too long because she got distracted by a caterpillar making a gentle landing in Merlin’s hair, but a nice, look you in the eye sort of handshake._

_Merlin smiles and grips her hand tightly, laughing a little when she grips back harder, a twinkle in her large brown eyes._

_“I like her.” He declares, earning a grin from Arthur and a small smile from Mithian, which he later learns is actually considered a full blown smile from her._

_They’re a good couple, contrasts all over, what with Arthur’s blond hair and her brown; his tan skin, and hers pale. Both of them are a little reserved and used to hiding their feelings, so it takes a while for them to get used to the holding hands in public stage._

_But when they do, showing up together (together!) at his and Arthur’s weekly coffee meet up, it hurts Merlin. It hurts him so badly, he trembles all over and all he can think of is no, no, it should be me there._

_But Arthur is happier with Mithian, and if Arthur is happy, then Merlin is too._

_now_  
 _November_

There is blood everywhere. Arthur’s hands are covered in it. A feeling of nausea settles over him as he waits for medical help and tries to stop the bleeding. What is happening to his wife? Where is his child? WHERE ARE THE NURSES HE CALLED FOR?

The moment he opens his mouth to shout that last one out loud, the nurses and doctor run in.  
He grabs the nearest nurse, a small blond lady, and asks her, “What is happening to Mith? Where is my child?”

The nurse takes his shoulders in her small, strong hands and says, “Calm down. Take a deep breath. You’re not breathing. ”

And Arthur does, the feeling of nausea receding almost immediately.

Then he asks her again.

“What is happening to my wife? She was fine thirty minutes ago! We were talking! And where did you take my baby?”

“Sir, your baby is fine. We took him out for tests and he is resting safely in an open crib right now. And your wife-she has Postpartum Hemorrhage. It sometimes happens for women who get Caesarean sections, but her bleeding unusually heavy. She-” The blond nurse looks worried and Arthur grips her arms a little tighter.

“She what?” he says impatiently

“We don’t think she’ll make it, sir.”

Arthur feels strangely out of body as he hears those words. He thanks the nurse and somehow drags his feet over to Mithian’s bedside, where her face is scrunched up in pain.

“Mithian, Mith. Hey, love. You’re gonna be alright, ok?”

She looks over at him, eyebrow still raised in a mocking stare as she grits her teeth to keep from crying out.

“I heard, ok?” She smiles wanly. “You don’t need to reassure me. I love you.”

Arthur kisses her, hard on the lips and prays, prays to a god that he doesn’t even believe in that she’ll, somehow, against all odds, be ok. As Arthur pulls back, Mithian whispers against his lips, “Eli. Let’s call him Eli.”

And closes her eyes and takes one, last deep breath. The heart monitor flat-lines and everything goes to shit.

_before_

_Merlin majors in American Sign language and teaching in college. Not because he’s lazy, as Will called him, but rather that he enjoys it a lot more than chemistry or biology or any other subject._

_Arthur laughs at him and says, “Hunith’s probably happy, though, right?”_

_And she is. She had glowed and signed at him, ‘I’m proud of you.’ Then he had been wrapped up in a warm Hunith-hug and given the choice of whatever he liked for dinner._

_Will, on the other hand, is studying art. He really can’t judge Merlin’s choice of major._

_But when it comes time to graduate and Merlin hasn’t found an internship, much less a teaching job, he isn’t laughing at Will anymore._

_He applies for a job at the local high school, but they turn him down, citing that they found someone who was “better qualified than him.”_

_It stings that they think that he’s not good enough, but he moves on. He fills out applications day and night, the papers piling up on his desk._

_Nothing comes out of it._

_He comes out of his room one night, bleary eyed and just so tired and finds warm cinnamon rolls sitting on a plate outside, with a note that read, ‘you deserve this, dear, for working so hard.’_

_He knows then that he can’t disappoint his mother. He applies for a desk job as a temp secretary at a law firm where his uncle Gaius works (he’s not above a little nepotism) and through Gaius’s recommendations and promises of his hard work, he gets it._

_He continues to apply for jobs, if not for himself, then for his mother. To make her proud._

 

_Now_  
 _April_

Arthur sits in the waiting room of Dr. John Drake, waiting for his diagnoses on Eli’s hearing. 

It has been 5 months since Mithian died and left him with their child, a beautiful brown haired, blue eyed baby boy. 

He took Eli home with him 3 days after that, the doctors giving him the ok.

A day after that, they had attended Mithian’s funeral and spread her ashes into the forest behind her childhood home. Arthur had stood stiffly while the minister read the blessing, Eli curled up in his arms. 

He hadn’t known what to do, Mithian being gone. He’d holed up in his apartment with Eli, the eternal darkness of his soul being mirrored by the eternal darkness of his room. None of his friends came by to check on him and so he decided that he didn’t care anyway and passed the time by playing with Eli and sleeping.

In the end, it was Merlin who had saved him. He’d come determinedly marching into Arthur’s apartment one day, flung open the blinds, and gently picked up Eli from his crib. 

“C’mon.” He had said, “Let’s get you some sunshine.”

He put Eli in a stroller and made Arthur put on some nice clothes. Merlin took them to the park and while they were making rounds around the greenery, said, “Arthur. You can’t keep doing this. Everybody is worried about you.”

“Are they.” Arthur answered doubtfully.

“Yes!” Merlin yelled, “Everybody is worried. Even your dad, Arthur. He tried to talk to you at the funeral, but you didn’t notice! Elena and Gwen and Lance and I are all worried for you. You know we all care for you. We would help you if you would just ask.”

Oh. They all care. 

Arthur suddenly realized that all that silence he had from his friends wasn’t just their not caring for them anymore, but rather the giving of space to him. He felt relieved and warm inside.

“Oh. I didn’t notice.”

“Yes, you didn’t notice. Arthur, I know it’s been hard for you. But it’s also been hard for us. She was our friend too.”

Arthur had stopped walking then, too overwhelmed by the feelings. Merlin noticed and widened his eyes nervously.

“Oh, sorry, sorry!! I was being really insensitive, wasn’t I.” He rambled nervously, eyebrows crinkling worriedly. 

Arthur had shaken his head and pulled Merlin into a great, big hug.

“Thank you.” 

Arthur is shaken out of his memory by a Dr. Drake who comes out with some bad news. 

“Mr. Pendragon. I believe that your son is deaf.”

 

_Before_

_Gwen sits on the floor, waving a rattle in front of Eli’s face._

_“Arthur, I don’t think Eli can hear.”_

_He looks up from his book.  
“What makes you think that?” He asks, confused. _

_“Well, he doesn’t react to anything I do to get his attention.”_

_“I thought all babies were like that?”_

_Gwen huffs and sends another worried look towards Eli._

_“Arthur. It’s not normal. I really think think you should call your dad and ask him if he knows any good audiologists. I’m sure he’ll help you.”_

_Arthur sighs and puts down his book. He knows that his father would help him, but would then look down on him even more than before._

_But he’s doing this for his son._

_“Ok, I’ll call.”_

_Surprisingly, the call goes well. Uther is supportive of Arthur’s decision and gives him the number to Dr. John Drake._

 

_Now_  
 _July_

Merlin’s temp job at the law firm ends and he starts teaching and working with Eli on his baby sign language.

Eli has been progressing very quickly, since Arthur called him for help.

Merlin has been spending longer periods of time at Arthur’s apartment and sometimes stays over when they have been up at indecent hours watching whatever show is on.

Merlin is lying on the floor, bouncing Eli up and down on his knee, when Arthur makes a suggestion has Merlin annoyed.

“Merlin. If you want, I could pay you for this, you know. I mean, you don’t have another job, so this could be your job.”

Merlin places Eli on the floor. 

“Has the fact that I’m helping you free of charge gone over your head?”

Merlin’s hurt. He thought that Arthur knew he was helping him because he was his best friend and he loves Arthur, for god’s sake.

“No! I just want to help you! It seems like you were having a hard time finding a job and-”

“Well, just don’t, ok? I’m doing this for you because I want to and I love you!”

Merlin closes his mouth, horrified, and stares into Arthur’s shocked eyes for a few seconds before running out the door.

He’s so upset during his departure that he doesn’t even see the small piece of affection in Arthur’s eyes as he leaves.

 

*

The doorbell to Merlin’s apartment rings. Then again. And then another 3 times in succession.

Merlin buries his head under the covers and ignores it. 

There are a few sweet moments of silence before Arthur’s familiar voice rings out.

“I know you’re there, Merlin. Ms. Shepard next door ratted you out.”

Merlin groans and inwardly curses that no-good gossiper next door.

He gets up, not bothering to put on anything over his pjs. He knows Arthur is going to reject him, so why bother?

Merlin opens the door and Arthur is standing there with Eli in his arms, looking unfairly delicious in a grey Henley and jeans. 

“Get dressed. We’re going to the park.” He says, and walks in, pulling Merlin’s curtains open and letting the sunlight flood in. 

Merlin blinks for a moment and figures that he may as well and pulls on a sweatshirt and jeans. 

They walk out into the afternoon sunshine, Eli smiling, happy to be out in the warmth.

When they reach the point on the bend where Arthur hugged Merlin before, Arthur stops and presses his forehead to Merlin’s, Eli squashed in between them, his breath hot on Merlin’s face.

“About yesterday-”

Merlin cuts him off. 

“I really didn’t mean to say that. I’m sorry for causing you discomfort.”

Arthur smiles and shakes his head, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to Merlin’s lips.

His lips are warm on Merlin’s, a little chapped, but it’s glorious. They kiss for long moments, only stopping for air and because Eli is squirming impatiently between them.

Arthur pulls away then and whispers against Merlin’s lips, “I love you.”

They still have a lot of things to work out. But Merlin thinks that it will be okay.


End file.
